Sometimes the people that care for us the most hold a mirror up and highlight our flaws. Of course they do it with love. Not long ago, I was working away in my home office, up against some deadline or other. My son came into the office with a skipping rope in hand, hand-cuffed us together and led me out of the room. It seems I was working too much for his liking. Not long after, he and I were on a plane and about to take off. We were taking a week off together – just the two of us. He seemed mildly suspicious of my capacity to do that and made me ‘pinky swear’ I wouldn't work.

My son, it seems, was schooling me on one of the very principals I talk about as critical to success – personal renewal. And despite the fact that the proverbial ink is not yet dry on an entire chapter dedicated to this concept in my upcoming book, I'll admit that this is a struggle.

The Role of Renewal

Renewal is about refueling and re-energizing. And it’s critical, because I can put on a red cape but that doesn’t make me a super hero. Without renewal we not only get weak and tired (and we do) but we lose our creative edge. And for that reason I believe strongly that if we continue to discount the value of renewal in our lives, we won’t achieve the business or the life that we want. It’s time to stop the madness.

Time Off

There are as many ways to refresh, recharge or renew as there are readers of this blog. However, one thing is common among the most successful people I meet – they are intentional about how they renew. And, they set big goals. When some take a week off, they take a month. When some go for a run; they train for an ironman. Sabbaticals are a case in point. Increasingly I’m talking to successful people who are taking significant periods of time away from their businesses. A few larger firms have even started to mandate sabbaticals for senior staff, which might involve 30 consecutive days every few years. There’s evidence, however, that many of us think that vacation time is for the weak. A 2016 study from Allianz Travel Insurance Vacation highlighted the fact that over half (53 percent) of Americans had not taken any time off in the last year. Over a third (37 percent) hadn’t take a vacation in more than two years. According to the study, this downward trend has been noticeable for the last 30 years. And the reason for the decline? We don’t believe anyone else can do the work, we want to prove ourselves and we fear the pile of work that might be waiting upon our return. In my research on achieving Absolute Engagement, I uncovered something important.

• Those who are Absolutely Engaged are nearly 2 times as likely to take five or more weeks off each year.
• What’s also striking is that they are more likely to take multiple weeks off at a time. A quarter of the Absolutely Engaged had taken four weeks off at one time compared to 13 percent of all others.

Of course renewal might also involve something less dramatic like taking time to read, exercise, committing to time with friends or being present with your family. And that takes us to the next point, which is all about managing our energy across different aspects of our lives.

Focus on Energy

Jim Loehr is the author of an extraordinary book called the Power of Full Engagement. He spent a good part of his career training elite athletes on how to improve their game. What’s interesting is that he didn't train them on anything related to the technical aspects of their sport; instead he focused on how they manage their energy. Loehr makes the great point that elite athletes spend 90 percent of their time training for 10 percent exertion. And yet somehow we expect ourselves to be on top of our game for eight, nine or 10 hours a day. Loehr makes an important point as it relates to how we manage our energy. It turns out that to renew and refresh we don’t need to plunk ourselves on the couch with a bag of chips and the remote. In fact, Loehr suggests, we need to create “stress” (in a good way). He points out that energy diminishes with both overuse and with underuse of any muscle. He applies that same theory beyond our physical energy and suggests that we need to balance energy expenditure (stress) with renewal. That holds true, he says, when it comes to almost every aspect of our lives - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Simply stated, Loehr is asking you to push yourself outside of your comfort zone in all aspects of your life in order to create the energy you need for sustained performance and in order to refresh and renew.

Get Some Sleep

A Gallup poll suggested 40% of Americans are sleep deprived, which is defined as routinely sleeping less than seven hours a night. I can almost hear you laughing - if that is the standard then call me sleep deprived. And while many of us get less than the recommended number of hours, we’re generally ok with that and don’t believe that more sleep would have a significant positive impact. At some point we need to realize that this issue is taking a significant toll on our ability to function, our health and our creativity. The concept of Absolute Engagement recognizes that if you need to suffer to achieve it, you’re going about it the wrong way. Arianna Huffington has become the self-declared ambassador of getting more sleep. What’s most striking in the approach that Huffington takes to sleep is how intentional she is about the process. In her book The Sleep Revolution: Transforming Your Life One Night at a Time she describes the ritual, the environment and the comfy jammies - all designed to support a good night’s sleep. So many of us have grown up believing that sleep is wasted time, something reserved for the lazy or unambitious. Huffington points out, however, that “sleep time is not empty time. It involves intense neurological activity which we can think of as cognitive maintenance or personal sustainability”. In her Ted Talk on the subject she refers to sleep as the world's best performance enhancer. One of the clear outcomes of renewal is that it helps us create meaningful boundaries in our lives. We love to be working and we love to return home. We’re energized and present in both situations.

Why Is Renewal So Hard?

Renewal should be easy but that’s far from the truth. It’s difficult because we have to battle demons that tell us to focus on others to the exclusion of ourselves. For some realizing we do this is a passing nuisance and can be easily overcome with some stern self-talk. For others, myself included, this runs far deeper. In an interview on her book ‘Daring Greatly’ Brene Brown talks openly about her own struggle and had this to say.  “I trusted my professional self, but not my personal self”. Many of you will understand what this means immediately and a lucky few will think I’m speaking a foreign language. We trust our professional selves and so we pour everything into perfecting that individual. That perfection comes at the cost of our personal selves because we don’t trust that that person is as worthy. And so while I struggle with this step, I'm a researcher at heart and I believe the data. And so I say this with all the humility that comes with past failures; we need renewal to succeed.

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Thanks for stopping by,

Julie